I am going all out here on this one, lol. God designed sex in marriage to be a beautiful thing. Before our separation, for me at least, it wasn't. I was left feeling unfulfilled every time, which probably lead to my lack of interest of lovemaking, because with me not getting a release, it wasn't really love IMO. While we were separated, I was reading some books that changed my outlook at things. They helped me to see that Love is a verb, an action word, like Nike's "Just do it", that is what I had to do, to please my husband. By pleasing Jeff, I would in the end, somehow, be able to be pleased as well. I was also praying for help in that area, because I figured if anything was going to help me with that, God would be able to of course! he has answered my prayer 7x70, if you get my meaning! We even sneak them, just because! And now, I get a release like never before, God has really truly blessed us!
Last week, a wrench was thrown in the works. Last Monday, I woke up with my right leg being numb to the touch, and through the week, it slowly grew up my right side stopping right below my shoulder. Then it went from just being numb, to also being sensitive to temperature and touch, and it wasn't just on the outside, if you get me. That was the worst of it! Last Thursday, we were ML, and all I could do was cry, it hurt so much. I kept it quiet so that Jeff wouldn't notice I hoped, but when he released, and was just holding me, he asked how bad it was, because he could tell it hurt and he had known I was crying. I told him I dealt with the pain, so he could fly, and he said I shouldn't have, that I should have said something.
With the way things were int he past, I really don't need something like this coming between us now. Since that night, I have been praying, since I still have been having pain and weakness on that side. I prayed for strength to endure and to be able to continue to please my husband. God has granted my request.
I still await the results of blood work done at the ER on Friday. Hopefully no news is good news, right?
